dieting for seniors

                            Pensioner’s  reply re Coles
Didn’t  like shopping there  anyway.
  Yesterday  I was at my local COLES  store buying a  large
  bag  of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was
in the  checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a  dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?  So,  since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I  told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting  the Pedigree Diet again.  I added that I probably  shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time,  but I’d lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care  with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s  in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a  perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load  your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one  or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is  nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going  to try it again. 

(I have to mention here  that  practically everyone in queue was now  enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me  if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food  poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off the kerb  to sniff an Irish Setter’s behind and a car hit me.

I  thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart  attack he was laughing so hard. 

I’m now  banned from Coles.  Better watch what you ask retired  people. 
They have all the time in the world to  think of daft things to  say.

Plenty more where this one came from. I will try to keep them clean to not offend the putitans Please remeber to review my books so i may be able to buy some other food than the pedigrees dog food. Email me on jamescalderwood@bigpond and ask for a free copy of The Opal Dragon or Bernad’s Circus. I will email it to you James. Remeber the reviews good or bad.